


waiting for inevitability

by FULLM3T4LH34RT



Series: Mayhemanic fics and shit [1]
Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Fan Adventures, Original Work
Genre: Character Study, God Tier (Homestuck), Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Introspection, Mayhemanic, Mayhemanic (fanventure), Pix (mayhemanic), Pix Sanctum, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-24
Updated: 2020-06-24
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:07:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24895144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FULLM3T4LH34RT/pseuds/FULLM3T4LH34RT
Summary: pix looks back on his life so far
Series: Mayhemanic fics and shit [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1801390
Kudos: 1





	waiting for inevitability

**Author's Note:**

> hi read mayhemanic

pix looked sround the dull cave his deathbead laid in, dirt and rocks crunching under his boots. he sighed shakily, the blood under his fingernails dry but his wounds still wet, face shiny with sweat and tears. 

his life hadn't been that bad, he thought as he approached the large slab with his aspect ingraved.  
he sat on it, body shaking as he messaged his friends.  
just a simple message about how he'd found the place where he would ascend to godhood, and that he would be offline for a while.

he contemplated dying somewhere else, somehwhere he'd stay dead. he decided against it, knowing that he needed to stay alive for his friends and for the sake of humanity.

pix grasps his sword tightly and sets his phone down.  
"i really wish i had gotten someone else to do this for me.." he mutters aloud to nobody in particular. he winces, raising his sword and laying back anf falters slightly.  
he isn't ready yet. he needs more time.  
but time isn't something he has the luxury of controlling.  
he sits back up and goes back on his phone, looking at the pictures from the world he grew up in, the world that had been destroyed in a matter of seconds once him and his friends had all entered.

it was inevitable, really.  
his sweater soaks up more blood and he feels his head getting foggier, but dying of blood loss isn't his plan. he wants to go quick, but he isn't a genius, doesn't know where to stab and especially doesn't know where to impale himself with a giant greatsword.

he shakes harder, breath coming out fast and shallow as his vision blurs and he feels blood and bile rise in his throat.  
he misses the old world, wishes things could be different.  
he raises his blade again, and impales it into his stomach.

the pain burns bright and quick, his voice ripping into a scream and he regrets, regrets, regrets because this isn't quick, this is painful and slow.

he tries again.  
his vision goes black, then explodes with light as power floods his body, the pain dissapating and hair flowing around a wind that doesn't exist

he sees his corpse, his own bloody body just...laying there.  
pix buries himself by one of the many shrines, and looks around the dark cave.

"fuck, i got blood on my phone!" he frantically wipes it off, looking at himself in the reflection of the blank screen.  
a tear rolls down his cheek, the tightness in his chest getting worse as he squeezes out a shaky sigh.  
he's alive.  
he laughs slightly, wet and soft.  
he walks out of the cave and excitedly texts his friends about his newfound godhood, leaving out the unsavory parts.  
he peeks at his stomach and finds a nasty scar and grimaces.  
but he's alive, and thats all that matters.

**Author's Note:**

> if u read this ur amazing


End file.
